As the year ends I’m reaching a point of no return. Since May of 2005 I’ve been fumbling along, bursting bubbles that I was sure would be the “career” for me and slowly but very steadily getting to a place, which is where I am now that’s stuck between a rock and a very hard place. This video will be in my life every day of 2012, yes, every single day in 2012 I will watch this short clip to remind myself that I will be making 2012 what it is.
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My 90 year old Vovo (grandfather) passed away today. Although I am 100% certain he is in a better place for himself right now I was overcome with emotions. In the lead up to my birth my grandparents rented a flat on the beachfront in Durban to be near my mother and assure her that if she chooses to keep me and not follow through with the adoption they would help financially and take care of both of us. As it turned out my mother took them up on the offer and at 5 days old we flew to Mozambique where I lived till the revolution in September of 1974.
The two driving personality traits that I remember of my grandfather are, he took the responsibility of care taker and breadwinner very seriously and he was stubborn. At the time of the revolution he was placed under house arrest for 1 year till he made it out to Switzerland and then to Lisbon. He was a trained accountant and found a job but never fully recovered and accepted that his country was taken away from him and all he had built up materially was no longer his. His first passion was flying and he held the title in Portugal as the oldest flying pilot for longer than we’d like to know. I recall hearing how he once forgot to let the wheels out before landing but in expert Vovo style he managed to get the plane on the ground without too much damage and with no one hurt. His personal life was tricky, he took the role as male provider very seriously and I think this sometimes blinded him to what was really going on around him. It was not easy for me to communicate with him in these last few years, he spent all his time giving us all photocopies of his life, his memories, his family and sharing poems and books by Fernando Pessoa.
I will miss your presence Vovo but I know that you are happier and at peace where you are now. Thank you for giving me everything you possibly could and please say hi to David for me. I love you.
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NYC must be the home of pretzels, as we wondered through the markets in Union Square a friend and I came across Sigmundnyc. It’s endlessly inspiring to me to be surrounded by people making a living out of their passions……………a feast for the eye’s and as we discovered our bellies. If you’re ever in NY look out for the cart, you won’t be disappointed.
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One day I hope to see this man perform live. E N J O Y
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This quote made me stop in Whole foods and laugh out loud. So much so that the guy who worked in this area of the store stopped and asked me what was so amusing and why. We then proceeded to discuss this “technique” for the next 20 minutes and he shared how he desperately wanted to let go of this amazing Aussie girl but could not help being dragged right now. A moment in time that made me smile inside and out.
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Allowing myself to hang out in my right brain is a key goal of mine these days. While at Esalen our musically inspiring leader Raphael Cushnir introduced us to creating a Haiku. I still find it difficult to explain what it is but am going to try anyway. It’s a kind of verbal punctuation or poetry said in syllables of 5-7-5. Sitting there allowing my mind to think in this way was a fascinating exercise and one I’d like to draw on and remember often. Here’s the one I came up with in the 5 minutes we were given.
Ex-pan-ded and open
We are all here to Thrive now
Let’s carry the joy inside
I’m sure it’s not a perfect 5-7-5 but it sure expands my thinking and has stuck with me.
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While having a conversation with Betsy Chasse in LA this past weekend I was introduced to another inspiring Thriver. This new documentary highlights Andrew Shelly’s round the world tour, a man with muscular dystrophy decides to set out and become the man he has always wanted to be.
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11 years ago I drove down Highway 1 with an old and dear friend who was visiting from South Africa. At the time I had just moved to NYC. It’s strange but I don’t remember the Californian coast reminding me as much of the coast in the Cape as it did this time. I took my time, stopped off at allot of places and just soaked up the beauty that literrally engulfs you on this special drive.
5 bikes on the back of a truck. I wonder if any of these cars topple over?
At most of the stops if you look down this is what you see, crystal clear water
There were cows grazzing right down to the waters edge
Uncanny resemblance to Chapman's Peak Drive in Cape Town
CA-1 Chapman's Peak
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The goal of daily blogging has obviously taken a knock since I started my trip to the US. San Francisco was an interesting few days. Thought I was being smart by picking Oakland as a place to stay, it looked like it fell between SF, where I would land and San Ramone, where I would interview Kiesha but that turned out to be a lesson in understanding my limits and speaking up about them. In many ways I felt like I was in some parts of SA there.
The main purpose of my trip to SF was to meet and interview Keisha Gallegos a Thriver who was sexually abused by her farther as a child. Today Keisha is an inspiring and successful coach, amazing wife and mother and a natural comedian. We laughed allot and Keisha helped me to see my own limits in what it means to Thrive. Here’s a picture of us taken by the most amusing cab driver that went from annoyed at us asking for his help, to telling us what to do as he turned into a professional photographer.
My desire to be nearer nature and the ocean drew me towards Santa Cruz where I spent 5 peaceful days falling in Love with the area and most especially the tiny and very cool town of Capitola. I took some yoga classes at SantaCruz yoga and Divinitree yoga and met the producers of an interesting documentary on healing through sound called Out of the Silence.
I spent time at my favorite beach in Carmel before driving down CA-1 to Big Sur and Esalen.
An Open day someone had on the side of the road
The lady whose little business is Thriving
The red neck glasses I could not resist buying
I always feel good when I see people carrying surf boards
A dead seal with no obvious signs as to why
These two girls are volunteers that walk the length of the beach measuring and taking note of the dead animals. They record all sightings noticing if there are any patterns.
A dead bird about 10 meters away form the dead seal
The London Bridge Pub in Monteray
One of my stops on the 17 Mile drive through Pebble Beach
A crazy fun dog that I watched running for at least half an hour....missing Rafa
Sunset over Carmel beach. One of the most special spots to me in the world
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Is there a universal desire for purpose? I wonder this question allot. This fascinating artist Taryn Simon (video included below) focuses on violent stories of survival. Purposefully steering clear of the deeper warmer more sympathetic view of life. Her work creates an uncomfortable format for the audience to look at and feel. It’s inspiring how artists today embrase such diverse interdisipilinary styles, using all different mediums and formats.
Last night I went downtown LA to support an artist that was in my group at Esalen this week. From the moment I heard Chloe Sells mention that she lives between Botswana and London I knew I wanted to learn more about her, little did I know that she’d open up a whole new world of art and inspiration to me. Chloe uses film and nature in her work. She manipulates, adds colour, draws and does all sorts of things to her photographs in the dark room so that by the time she’s finished her work it’s a surprise, even to her. Not a great image below but it will give you an idea of her work.
Taryn Simon: Shot True on Nowness.com.
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My name is Tanya Monteiro. I'm an adventurer, a 1st time filmmaker, a lover of colour and always asking...are you Thriving or Surviving?
