Thanks to Kelly and Julius I was lent the inspiring documentary “Peace through music”, they thought it might provide some inspiration for “Surviving or Thriving?” – How right they were!

I remember as a child standing on the couch signing “ebony and ivory” at the top of my lungs to myself. Words of songs came to me really really easily, my mother used to say “why don’t you remember your school work like you remember songs?”. Music always helped me find peace and courage, always. It allowed me to feel when most of my time was spent trying not to feel. This film will make you smile, feel, forgive, sing and be happy that you’re a part of this amazing world. My hat off to all the people involved in making it a reality and now a way of life!

Peace Through Music

About 7 years ago I met an inspiring couple in NYC, they are South African and were living in NYC for 6 months while the husband lectured at NYU.  It was fascinating to me that the wife, who I instantly liked and respected, had a bikram yoga studio in Joburg and loved the style. I’d found the idea of an extra hot room and the fact that Mr Bikram drove around LA in a rolls Royce wearing a Rolex, totally unappealing. I kept thinking how could someone so cool be swept up by all that hype and of course my curiosity for Bikram was pricked. It took me till today August 22, 2010 to give my first class a try. For an action, do it now kind of gal this is a surprise but right now in my life Im learning that Im learning and the path is not clear and that’s ok.

The studio is set in the back of beyond and to me kind of added to the mystery as I walked in and wondered what I was in for. Tough is the word that keeps coming to mind, any type of intense heat is tough for me. Add some intense poses and over a period of 1.5 hours constant self judgment and complaining was all my head had time to do/think. Can’t say I could manage all the poses, certainly did allot of internal moaning and complaining especially once we lay down.

The change rooms were the closest I’ve come to Jivamukti’s lafyette studio, up close and very personal. The claustrophobia was a little too much towards the end, I had to leave the room and wait for my friend outside but all told I’ll be back, hell im even thinking of doing the 30 day challenge that invitingly hangs on the entrance wall.

Loved this non fiction, fiction read. I often wonder what Rafa is thinking, how he interprets events, does he think? This book could easily fit into the self help category, the overall message is our lives go where I eyes go, or our attention.  Added a couple of quotes below that jumped out at me:

“the race is long – to finish first, first you must finish” or perhaps more rightly for the thinker in me, must start first:)

“The race is long. It is better to drive within oneself and finish the race behind the others than it is to drive too hard and crash”.

“Inside each of us resides the truth, the absolute truth. But sometimes the truth is hidden in a hall of mirrors…….we must shatter the mirrors. We must look into ourselves and root out the distortions until that thing which we know in our hearts…stands before us”

“I know this much about racing in the rain. I know it is about balance. It is about anticipation and patience………..but racing in the rain is also about the mind. It is about owning one’s own body. About believing that one’s car is merely an extension of the car, and the rain is an extension of the track, and the sky is an extension of the rain. It is about believing that you are not you, you are everything. And everything is you.”

F A S I N A T E D by how my/our brain works,

Boundaries, what are they? The importance of these invisible lines are to me one of the most important life skills I could ever keep reminding myself of. Regardless of our circumstances realising we have boundaries was like winning the jackpot for me.  Today the best way to communicate my feelings to a narcissist—(a highly self-absorbed and often demeaning, yet charming individual) — is with a combination of empathy and confrontation. “Try to offer the benefit of the doubt. Try to offer understanding while still ……holding them accountable,” suggests Wendy Behary, author of Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed. She offers a few examples of what you might say:

To a loved one:
“I know it’s not your intention to be hurtful to me, but it’s really coming across in a way that’s completely unacceptable. It’s gone too far, and we have to work on this or our relationship is at risk.”

To an in-law:
“I respect your intentions and your expertise (in home decorating, parenting, whatever), but I’m trying to learn, too, and I really need you to respect the boundaries of my household while you’re here.”

To a boss/colleague:
“I appreciate your mentorship (or this opportunity), but when you speak to me this way, it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe we can find another way to talk about it.”

Through Laura Munson I discovered this, Thank you!

It’s day 3 of my new contract. I’ve not worked in the city (London) since very early in 2002, things have changed. It’s so good to be back amongst the hussel and bussel and it’s so strange to be living in this place of certainty that I know what I want to do but right now this is the only way I can see to paying my rent and getting the bank account moving in the right direction. I watch people every day as I walk through the streets on my way the office to help as many people as is humanly possible get jobs in IB – IT. Full circle for sure! Ever single morning, on the tube, I listen to the The Katheleen Show. I was in tears this morning listening to the author of the shack explain his book and a little about his life, a huge part of me knows I’m not living my passion right now, well not 100% but I can’t seem to figure out exactly what to do and what I’m doing seems right for right now. William P. Young talks about Loss and Healing, Love and Forgiveness. His book is called The Shack.

We choose, we really do choose. Each moment of the day I know this to be true, yet I wake up and have to have a conversation with myself after I’ve written my 3 pages of blurb.

Dr Rick Brinkman speaks about Leadership, I’d not thought about the leadership of myself in those words. Leadership to me was defined as others leading, interesting thought. Please listen to both of these talks if you have time and if you’re seeking to understand and take ownership of creating your life. BOTH will give you a step or two in the right direction.

Just finished Andre Agassi’s autobiography – OPEN.  It’s reminded me to think of my own path, how I’ve chosen to audit my life for the past 5 years. Setting out in May 2005 starting to DO the things I love I never ever thought it would take me 5 whole years to burst the bubbles and find what truly gives my life meaning and allows me to live on purpose. Agassi shares so much about himself in this book, he articulates the choices we make, he hated tennis, he loved tennis, he hated tennis. “I play and keep playing because I choose to play. Even if it’s not your ideal life, you can always choose it. No matter what your life is, choosing it changes everything.” This is my ultimate goal with producing my documentary, providing real human examples of people who’ve chosen their paths to Thriving. He writes out the code of respect:

The essence of good discipline is respect.

Respect of authority and respect for others.

Respect for self and respect for rules.

It is an attitude that begins at home,

Is reinforced at school,

And is applied throughout life.

Not everyone gets to learn respect at home. I’m certain that how our parents live and what they do is far more likely to be how we live than listening to what they say we should do and how we should live our lives. Yet, sooner or later its our choice and we can no longer blame them or allow them to seek some kind of gratification through us. We choose, but first we have to resign. On Tuesday I resigned from a relationship that has never been smooth, has never been what it should be and I have lived in the should place of this relationship all my life. Perhaps it was this book or one of Seth Godin’s reality check emails that helped me realise that it is not what I wish it were, that’s that. I can make a perfect problem imperfect! This relationship is not what I dreamt of and it never will be, its a slow and painful failure, and that’s what it is. Resigning from that dream clears the way for being OPEN to new ways of living, as Agassi says over and over he took a long time to get to know himself and like him Im a slow learner emmotionally.

“My theme, I think, will be contradictions” as Walt Whitman said

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself.” What a releif to say it as it is.

Thank you Andre Agassi, your putting it out there has helped me and I’m certain lots of others be more real with themselves and as a result with the world they choose to create.