As the days go by and the uncertainty remains I’m finding myself in a place of needing to learn more and more about those who’ve done big things before more. Fortunately there are many. I recently discovered Krishnamurti and something inside of me lit up.
This man travelled for 65 years, of course the anxious me loves to hear this, it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one that seems to find more than one spot in the world my home. Krishnamurti talks about belief not being religion and authority not being religion. He was certain that the hierarchical approach to life is not a peaceful solution. Rather, his understanding was around letting go of all our conditioning. “When we are no longer a hindu, a catholic or belonging to a sect our minds ask what is truly religion?”. It’s the totality of existance with no distinction between you and me. He believed that each of us must bring about our own transformation that is not dependant on outward authority of others or the inner authority of knowlege or time. It’s moment to moment in the relationship to others and to nature. Unless I fundementally change the furture will be what it is now……….seeing the truth of the simple fact. I’m reminded of Michael J. Fox’s quote;
“The purpose that you wish to find in life, like a cure you seek, is not going to fall from the sky……..I believe purpose is something for which one is responsible; it’s not just divinely assigned.”
Krishnamurti insisted that the only thing he could teach was about the nature of the mind itself and the way to freedom that was without dogma or guidelines. He distained spiritual gurus and religions of any kind, and essentially had the heart of a mystic. He believed that to stand alone, to be a light to ourselves with no outside authority. He encouraged us to question our traditions, beliefs, rituals and to notice that they hold no place in transforming our own minds. He resisted every attempt to make him an authority yet ironically he ended up becoming just what the Theosophists predicted — a great spiritual teacher, yet what he taught was radically different than expected.
For me the knowlege about myself and my culture was shattered at the apartheid museum. It was the first time I had ever really felt a physical reaction to what had been going on right next to me as I was growing up and I’d had no idea it was happening.
It may not be easy to let go of our conditioning, our traditions and our education, the inner critic all the years of learning can have a loud voice but when it results in strong internal conflict “Instead, I’m going take full responsibility of my own emotions rather than blame my external world on how I feel internally”. the courage to accept your own beauty