This blog has been an amazing tool for me in a multitude of ways. As a kid I wrote diary after diary, used pictures and colours and really took care of them. One day when I returned from a vacation overseas my mother shared with me that she had read my diarys. At the time I remember feeling terrified, I was terrified of my mother allot growing up but this was a different kind of scared. I had written in my diary in my own type of code what had happened with my step farther and I was terrified my mother would find out. Instead she shouted at me for other things I had written and I decided it was best not to write. Fast forward 25 years and I’m in love with the internet and decide to start blogging. Unaware of my own difficulty in writing, this blog has allowed me to see just how much I had moved away from the things I like and tried to better at my weaknesses. (for a brilliant understanding on this concept of how much we focus on our weaknesses instead of our strengths listen to Marcus Buckingham)
Back to why I love blogging. It touches on a subtle type of dicipline for me, I made a deal with myself at the begining of this year, I would blog daily. I’ve not hit 100% but I’m at 90% and I’m so so aware when I don’t and why I don’t. I’m learning not to bulldoze, the just make it happen way is not my preferred style and I’m learning to appreciate the effects my own commitments to myself have on me.
Focus: I think of what to share and what to blog allot, now that I have theme’s, often what I see I relate to these themes, it helps me to focus my mind. A benefit I never anticipated and those little moments of connection and the option to share bring me enourmous joy!
Mostly though, the two key words for me and blogging is being transparent and honest. I say what I feel here, I do think about how others will read it and I always make an effort to make it about my view and not about how someone else sees it but I get an enourmous amount of internal clarity and satisfaction by being able to share, figure out and be open about my thoughts and feeling.
There are allot of threads that I’m discovering in all the adversity to thriving research. In the case of sexual abuse by far the most common default way of being is to hide, not in the obvious way but in the most detremental way. We keep our inner most feelings to our selves and allow our monkey minds to decide a reality that traps us. The ability to be open, learn to get in touch with how we feel and learn to trust ourselves, there is no other tool that has helped me more than blogging. Regardless if anyone actually reads this, the process and act has changed me and my life, I am so grateful to the www.
