Boundaries, what are they? The importance of these invisible lines are to me one of the most important life skills I could ever keep reminding myself of. Regardless of our circumstances realising we have boundaries was like winning the jackpot for me. Today the best way to communicate my feelings to a narcissist—(a highly self-absorbed and often demeaning, yet charming individual) — is with a combination of empathy and confrontation. “Try to offer the benefit of the doubt. Try to offer understanding while still ……holding them accountable,” suggests Wendy Behary, author of Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed. She offers a few examples of what you might say:
To a loved one:
“I know it’s not your intention to be hurtful to me, but it’s really coming across in a way that’s completely unacceptable. It’s gone too far, and we have to work on this or our relationship is at risk.”
To an in-law:
“I respect your intentions and your expertise (in home decorating, parenting, whatever), but I’m trying to learn, too, and I really need you to respect the boundaries of my household while you’re here.”
To a boss/colleague:
“I appreciate your mentorship (or this opportunity), but when you speak to me this way, it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe we can find another way to talk about it.”
